Relapse.

"Sending those demons to hide inside my skin. I remember it was done writing about trees, writing about clear skies, mist of rain and fog on my fixed millimeter lenses. It was done by a breath of invisible counts of dry heaves in my lungs. Wrung out to protest a breath of fresh air within my own patience. Hoax as it was maybe called, i was a man of despicable dreams and quite disastrous thoughts. I'd broke so many codes of silence with the reflection in the shattered mirror, i absolutely had to realize i was the cause of all this rage. what i saw was broken and edged with probability of a different and changed human nature. what i saw wasn't the reflection in broken glass, but the broken glass reflected in my hammerhead soul. It reached out to the hungry and intellect. the intellect and elementary. the elementary and reluctant. the stubborn and self. and broke every fucking beautiful thing around me.

so i say,

Reason with insights that someday they will see light. Confine with your insecurities so that someday you will pave a foundation for somebody who has lost faith in their own work. Produce a list of wants and change them to needs. Try at a way to believe that you are something to somebody and they have you wandering in their dream as a support or even an enemy. Utter a word to yourself that you know for a fact you've never heard of. Create the language only you'd be able to live by. Talk up a storm of false pretenses and then simmer a bit of truth and the your theory and philosophy will be astoundingly arguable. Debate and don't give in to a loss, but a gratifying compromise. Smoke a breath with the burning rage you have before walking a next step into regret. Convince yourself that you must let go when you absolutely must let go, not when it just feels like it will satisfy you. as the list goes on, remember how you saw yourself, realized yourself that you are nothing. as of now . you.are.nothing.

good luck searching for the infinite abyss."