lovebug.

dear you,

you gave me a chance to redeem myself. i showed you how to deal and showed you how i'd deal. i dealt the cards that somehow gave you some signal that i can do this. at the same time. you gave me the sign that i had to do it on my own. i could and i almost did. i tried so hard to juggle my thoughts, my prolonging discontents, and my over analytical heart. but. in deeper sense you left me without anything to say.

i got bit by the lovebug, and no i didn't fly. i didn't fall. i sank into oblivion. as over dramatic as it sounds. i wish you were here. i guess that's the sign in it all. you found your safe haven you found your someone that gave you the slate that you could have laid on all along. you have what you need. and it's obvious that you don't even need any part of me. no i'm not saying this out of depression or fall, but truth.

i thought i was the one that would be teaching you how to think. but you were the one that taught me how to live. how to be normal and considerate of myself. how to no know everything and fall in between life itself. to appreciate inner beauty and understand everyday thoughts. i understand now.

i can't fight too much for your love because it's not your love i'm fighting anymore, it's my own faults. my own discontents and my own problems. i'm sorry i ever got in your way, sorry i ever wasted your time and sorry for existing in your time.

give me nothing left, but nothing..left.

the process of growing up also had to catch up with my fall. with this fall. i'll get up i have the ability too. it's just god told me this is what i needed to realize how much i didn't need help in finding myself.

thanks for hitting me harder than before. worse comes to worse the people come first.

worse comes to worse. i came last.

forget the heartache. right now, i need to figure out how to deal with this headache.

i can't sleep no more. empty calls. empty texts. i'm pretty much repeating myself.

i'm on my way out of here. i'll be back. but i won't be here.

my mind isn't. it's still with you. give it back if you feel alive.

if you feel content in what you said.

if
you
feel
okay
without
me.

why,
joshuaantenorcruzconanan.

p.s
karma's a bitch. so is living history. on repeat once again.